1WineDude :: Serious wine talk for the not-so-serious drinker!: fruit bombs

To Whom It May Concern:

I've just polished off another 1/2 of a bottle of your tasty, 14.5% abv wines... in fact, I'm pretty sure that even though it said 14.5% on the elegant bottle, it was probably closer to 15.2%. Anyway, I hope you'll forgive me if I stray off topic or get a little emotional. I'm sure you'll understand...

I'm a wine lover. And I love California wines - in fact, they're the first wines that made me stand up and say "WOW! I think I'm in love with wine!" If it wasn't for CA wines, I would never have started my own personal and fulfilling journey into the wondrous world of wine.

So let's just establish right now that I've got a soft spot in my heart for CA wine. I even love a good fruit bomb every now and then, which I'd argue is one of the fingerprints of CA wine that makes it so unique on the world stage, and capable of being so damn good.

We've had a good run, you and me... BUT... things just aren't what they used to be...

Your wines... they're just starting to... well, I'll be honest, they're starting to seem a little boorish sometimes. And I have to admit, I've been finding myself attracted to other wine regions. Southern France, New Zealand, Chile...

I didn't expect this to happen. I thought we were happy together. But then things started to change. I understand that you need to 'chase scores sometimes in order to command high bottle prices for your wines. After all, how else can you afford to keep up with those expensive winemaking techniques... I know how difficult it is to upkeep pricey machinery, to hand-sort grapes, and let's not talk about the extravagant prices of new oak barrels these days!

I appreciate what you're up against, too; those Old World wine regions have hundreds of years going for them, and they can take a long range view of their wines. You have it tougher - sometimes, if you don't create a big, busty fruit bomb, you can't get your name out there quickly enough to be successful - and your competition sure isn't waiting around.

But it's all gone overboard now. I mean, do you have to obsess about Robert Parker's ratings all the time??!? I like the guy, but there are other palate preferences out there. Good ones, too.

I love that you're busty with all of that alcohol and ripe fruit. It turns me on. But you used to be busty and elegant. Now... well... I'll let the pictures speak for themselves...

I'm not sure things can ever go back to being how they were.

But I'm willing to try if you are.

So please... for both of us... think twice before you go for that much alcohol. I'm not sure that any unfortified wine has enough fruit, acidity, and tenderness to balance against > 15% abv. Think about that, for you, for me. For us, and what we used to have together...

Love,
-Dude

(images: flikr.com - eduardolive, unknown)

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(images: jacop.net, pocketpcmag.net)

Warning: If you consider yourself a wine snob, or are easily offended (or both), then I am about to lose you as a friend with this post.

Because I am here to tell you that "Fruit Bombs" (those wines made in a style that deliberately dials up the varietal fruit and shoves it right into your face) are OK.

No, really, I'm serious. They're OK.

Yes, they really are. YES, they ARE.

Now, before I explain why Fruit Bombs are OK, I need to tell you a little about Jaco Pastorius (stick with me - this will all makes sense in a minute or two)...

Jaco Pastorius is widely considered to be the father of modern jazz bass playing. Often he is cited as the best jazz bassist to have ever lived (if not the best electric bassist ever, period). If, like me, you're a bass player, then you have to be inspired at least a little bit by Jaco's amazing playing and harmonious blend of musicality, technique, humor, and inventiveness - if not, you'd better have your pulse checked, 'cause you might be dead.

In the music biz, Jaco was just as famous for his quips as he was for his bass licks. Among his best: "women, children, and rhythm section first," "it ain't braggin' if you can back it up!" and my personal favorite, "I am not here to raise hippy consciousness, I am here to wet some panties."

Artistic Harmony is Important (Especially in Wine)
The key to Jaco's success was how well he blended all of the different elements of his musical abilities together into a coherent whole. You may not like jazz, but if you're really listening, you can't help but admire the genuineness and balance.

When I'm drinking wine, I'm looking for the same things: genuineness and balance. I may not like the style, but I will admire those elements, if they exist in the wine. Because a winemaker who is really trying will give you the most of those things that are possible given the winemaking conditions, raw materials/grapes, and other resources s/he has on command for that vintage.

Don't Dis Based on Style - Dis Based on Lack of Harmony

Fruit Bombs are nothing more than a style of winemaking. Do I think many of them suck? Sure I do. Do I prefer them to more subtle-flavored wine choices? Usually not. But I don't write them off on the whole any more than I would tell you that all country music sucks just because I'm not a fan of the genre in general.

Making a wine is a bit like fiddling with the EQ on your stereo. Crank up the bass and extreme treble all the way, and most of your music will sound like shit. And the bad, disingenuous music? That will sound even worse. In winemaking, if you crank up the fruit, you'd better make sure that you're also cranking up the structure (acidity, tannin, oak, etc.) to some degree, so that you're providing a balance and giving the disparate elements in the wine the best chance to come together as a cohesive whole. Or most likely your wine will taste like shit.

Wine is Music to Your Mouth
A wine, even an inexpensive one, should be like music to your palate - and the Brittany Spears of wine is inherently no better than Joni Mitchell of wine, depending on which one you're most into.

So let's not write off the fruit bombs, people. Let's write off the disingenuous wines that don't have internal harmony.

I am not here to raise wine consciousness, I am here to whet some palates!

Cheers!

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