Why Fruit Bombs Are OK (I am Here to Whet Some Palates!)

(images: jacop.net, pocketpcmag.net)

Warning: If you consider yourself a wine snob, or are easily offended (or both), then I am about to lose you as a friend with this post.

Because I am here to tell you that "Fruit Bombs" (those wines made in a style that deliberately dials up the varietal fruit and shoves it right into your face) are OK.

No, really, I'm serious. They're OK.

Yes, they really are. YES, they ARE.

Now, before I explain why Fruit Bombs are OK, I need to tell you a little about Jaco Pastorius (stick with me - this will all makes sense in a minute or two)...

Jaco Pastorius is widely considered to be the father of modern jazz bass playing. Often he is cited as the best jazz bassist to have ever lived (if not the best electric bassist ever, period). If, like me, you're a bass player, then you have to be inspired at least a little bit by Jaco's amazing playing and harmonious blend of musicality, technique, humor, and inventiveness - if not, you'd better have your pulse checked, 'cause you might be dead.

In the music biz, Jaco was just as famous for his quips as he was for his bass licks. Among his best: "women, children, and rhythm section first," "it ain't braggin' if you can back it up!" and my personal favorite, "I am not here to raise hippy consciousness, I am here to wet some panties."

Artistic Harmony is Important (Especially in Wine)
The key to Jaco's success was how well he blended all of the different elements of his musical abilities together into a coherent whole. You may not like jazz, but if you're really listening, you can't help but admire the genuineness and balance.

When I'm drinking wine, I'm looking for the same things: genuineness and balance. I may not like the style, but I will admire those elements, if they exist in the wine. Because a winemaker who is really trying will give you the most of those things that are possible given the winemaking conditions, raw materials/grapes, and other resources s/he has on command for that vintage.

Don't Dis Based on Style - Dis Based on Lack of Harmony
Fruit Bombs are nothing more than a style of winemaking. Do I think many of them suck? Sure I do. Do I prefer them to more subtle-flavored wine choices? Usually not. But I don't write them off on the whole any more than I would tell you that all country music sucks just because I'm not a fan of the genre in general.

Making a wine is a bit like fiddling with the EQ on your stereo. Crank up the bass and extreme treble all the way, and most of your music will sound like shit. And the bad, disingenuous music? That will sound even worse. In winemaking, if you crank up the fruit, you'd better make sure that you're also cranking up the structure (acidity, tannin, oak, etc.) to some degree, so that you're providing a balance and giving the disparate elements in the wine the best chance to come together as a cohesive whole. Or most likely your wine will taste like shit.

Wine is Music to Your Mouth
A wine, even an inexpensive one, should be like music to your palate - and the Brittany Spears of wine is inherently no better than Joni Mitchell of wine, depending on which one you're most into.

So let's not write off the fruit bombs, people. Let's write off the disingenuous wines that don't have internal harmony.

I am not here to raise wine consciousness, I am here to whet some palates!

Cheers!